I'd like to invite you into a conversation I had this weekend and tell you the TRUTH about confidence!
As I sat at my dear soul sister's wedding this weekend, I received this question from another beautiful soul who was sitting by me... ”Have you always been this confident?”
I took a beat to think about this question because although it seemed so simple... it was a LOADED one.
Because actually, the answer is both yes and OH HELL NO.
When I was a little girl, I was confident and bold and silly and protective and deeply emotional and loving.
Then... like most humans (sigh, unfortunately) the external world started changing me and rewiring my beliefs based on the conditions that surrounded me.
When I was in fourth grade, in a school wide ballet assembly, a boy who was my classmate was asked to pick me up- afterwards he told everyone I was fat.
In eighth grade, when AOL/ AIM instant messaging was the new and cool thing, I received messages from the screen names "JillianISaFAKE" and "JillianLegerSUCKS", telling me that I was annoying, superficial, and that no one liked me. I actually had to look up the word superficial, went to bed cold, clamy, and shaking, and then woke up and cried as I told my mom about it.
When I was in college, my boyfriend at the time really only had time for me when I was spending money on him (off my $6.50/ hour Event Staff paycheck)and wearing clothes that he told me to wear.
I could go on and on... but in essence- each of these memories is representative of one of the many times my confidence was stripped from me.
And during each of these moments, I stepped further and further away from that little girl.
I forgot her.
The conditional world changed me... and because I didn’t know how to participate in my standing up for myself and choosing love, I let it.
I’ve done a lot of work since then... internal work to remind me that no matter WHAT the outside world does or says- I REMEMBER THAT I AM LOVE.
I remember the naturally confident girl I once was, and I choose her... because she is within me!
So, yes... I’m confident now, like I was when I was a little girl... and that only rekindled for me with deep, self-love guided work.
The more we remember that external circumstance do not ever define who we are, the more confidence we can embody because our internal truth is leading the way!
So, now to you, my loves... do my memories trigger something within you?
Perhaps you experienced similar moments like these? Perhaps some past confidence-losing moments are screaming to the surface right now? Here's the truth... we allow for our confidence to be taken. No one can TRULY take them... but because these wounds hurt so badly, we forget out power.
Are you ready to remember?
Let's do it then... Steps to Confidence Re-discovery
Step 1- Reclaim your power. I encourage you to have the honest pep-talk with yourself... remind yourself that, actually, YOU run the show... what happens to you doesn't define you... You are YOU!
Step 2- Forgive those people/ situations/ experiences that hurt you. But mostly importantly, forgive yourself for morphing because of the hurtful actions or words of others. You are brilliant and beautiful.
Step 3- Forever as yourself this question- "Am I making this decision from an internally or externally driven space?" This will allow yourself to really flex that TRUE confidence muscle and make decisions based on YOU... not anyone else!
I love you so deeply and I hope this message is the beginning of your confidence rediscovery... the TRUE YOU remembering!
P.S. If you want to step into your truth in a HUGE way... If you want to be guided in all of this, live and in person, so you can co-create among the energy of others who want to reclaim their confidence and amplify their truth... then you NEED to get to the True You Live event that I'm hosting with some of my personal development business besties in Portland, Maine on October 13, 2018.